


Like Shattered Glass

by obviouslyelementary



Series: Edward's existential crises [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Edward the Second, Edward's POV, Existential Crisis, Gen, M/M, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Pre-Relationship, chuwald, post ten years, very frustrating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 08:24:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19884589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: Edward thinks a lot about Oswald now that they are both free and living together in the manor.





	Like Shattered Glass

Another one of their plans successful. They returned home, laughing in their tiredness, removing their hats and coats and hanging them by the door. The manor was just like they left it, calm and quiet, with the guards all around, Olga already asleep. The smell of fresh food filled in their lungs and brought grumbles to their stomachs, and they both continued to rant about their amazing plan, all while Edward's voice slowly faded away so he could listen to the cheer enthusiasm Oswald emanated as he laughed more than he should, hands on his wide tummy, just before he removed his monocle and leaned heavily on his cane. He was so... beautiful.

Edward was ready to reach over, to turn him around and pull him by the tie and kiss him, but before he could the whimpering sound of a puppy was heard and a fumbling of a body coming downstairs. Oswald was immediately distracted, cooing as the one-month old bulldog rushed to them, barking its high-pitched bark and placing his tini tiny paws on Oswald's leg. He ditched the cane for a second, leaning down with difficulty to pick up the puppy, laughing as he licked his face and barked, tiny tail wiggling madly. 'Missed you too baby, missed you too!' Oswald said, in a way that made Edward's heart burst with a warm feeling of content. Oswald held Edward the second like a baby, holding his cane again and heading to the kitchen for their supper, and Edward just followed in silence, admiring the view. The pupper even barked at him, over Oswald's shoulder, and Edward waved at him with a newfound fondness. He was never one for dogs, or any animals for that matter, but getting Edward the II was essential for Oswald's newfound life after prison. He had been depressed after Edward died, a few years into his imprisonment, and now he was a new beaming beacon of happiness with the puppy.

And Edward was absorbing all that happiness and keeping it deep inside his heart, in a special place, for whenever he was upset, sad, angry or frustrated, which tended to happen a lot.

Without Arkaham's constant wave of medication to keep him quiet and harmless, he was quite unpredictable and irritable. He had mood swings he himself didn't understand, and yet Oswald was able to calm him down and make him see the light again, to breathe and think once more. He would have become completely dysfunctional without Oswald, and after three months out of Arkaham, life was slowly coming back together.

That night had been their second big hound since they were freed/escaped. Now they were 5 million dollars richer, besides of the 70% more politically influential after the blackmail they were able to acquire for the city's chief of state. Those had been good three months.

"Edward, could you please grab the salt in the cabinet? My leg is killing me, I cannot stand up again" Oswald said, pulling Edward out of his trance. He nodded, smiling at the man that had the puppy on his lap. Despite his efforts, Oswald insisted on getting on a diet, and Edward could do nothing but comply with his wishes. Sometimes he was able to convince Oswald to eat some homemade cake or eat some ice cream right from the can with him, but those were far and in between. Edward grabbed the salt and sat down next to Oswald, watching fondly as he fed Edward the II a little bit of pork beef. He began eating his own food, he was trying to consume more than he wanted to encourage Oswald of a healthy meal, considering he was determined to eat only what Edward ate. So if he ate one apple, Oswald would eat one apple, and if he ate three pork beefs and a bunch of French fries, he would count the French fries and eat the exact same amount.

Oswald's relationship with his weight was complicated. And Edward's relationship with Oswald's weight was even more complicated.

His relationship with Oswald was overall a mess.

For ten years he thought of Oswald, dreamt about him, wrote him letters that never arrived, revealed his love to him over laughable riddles that only made the prison guards hit him harder and call him names. He was known, by the fifth year in Arkaham, as 'the Penguin's bitch', and somehow none of that ever reached Oswald's ears in Blackgate. Or if they did, he simply ignored it.

Oswald did not treat him any different after they met again, and that crushed all Edward's hopes. He was shier, for sure, and way less touchy-feeling. He tended to himself more, thought before he spoke, he was usually closed off and distant, and that was worst than any torture chamber back in Arkaham. It was nightmare in daylight form. And Edward did not know what to do to reverse it.

He had glimpses of kissing Oswald, just like he had as they arrived that night. Sometimes he felt his hand burning for the touch of Oswald's hand. He made excuses to fix Oswald's coats and ties to be able to slide a finger over his skin, on his neck. He offered him his cane, to have their fingers brush and send a shiver up his spine, that made his head spin and his heart hammer inside his chest. He pretended to be asleep, so he could fall to the side and use Oswald's shoulder as a pillow. Oswald would never allow for it while they were both awake, on the couch, reading or watching TV. But when he pretended to be asleep, tucked under blankets, Oswald fixed his head to lay comfortably over his shoulder and slid his fingers through Edward's hair, or down his arm, and that almost made him cry with relief.

After doing Oswald so wrong, after breaking their thrust on each other like fine glass shatters before one's eyes, this was his punishment. Being painfully in love with someone that once would give him everything, and now hesitate on a hug or a handshake.

They finished eating their supper and Oswald announced he would take a shower, standing up by himself despite Edward's stupid attempt of helping him. He stood and, not to look foolish, gathered the plates and put them on the sink. He also gathered the food that was left and put it all in the fridge, and cleaned off the table, despite knowing that was Olga's job. He just needed to move, to do something with his hands, to make his brain stop working.

Never in his life he wished as much as he did now for his brain to simply shut up.

Edward the II followed Oswald to the shower and when the water began running, Edward let the cloth and product fall from his hands on the table. He sat down, defeated, and rubbed his eyes so they wouldn't start tearing up. The frustration was eating him whole, the love was consuming his soul, the uncertainty was squeezing his neck, the anxiety ripping his guts. It was like every internal organ, every stomach opening, every intestine twirl squeezed, burnt, tied up on itself.

If that was what Oswald felt before, when Edward rejected him, when Edward went out of his way to make his life miserable, he was pretty sure he deserved death. Because he couldn't imagine making Oswald, the only person that ever cared for him, hurt like that. It was unbearable, the pain.

"Ed?"

His head snapped up and his eyes opened widely, and Oswald stood by the end of the stairs, dressing his fancy velvet purple robe and holding Edward the second on his arms, a quizzical expression on his face. He looked... gorgeous. Divine. Edward could feel his heart in his throat.

"Yes?"

"Aren't you going to sleep?"

Edward wanted to laugh. Sleep? He didn't sleep. He passed out of exhaustion.

"Yes I am. In a second."

Oswald's confused face turned into a kind, fond smile, and he gave him a simple nod, fixing the puppy in his arms and his cane in his hand. How could he be so beautiful?

"Very well. Don't take too long, our day tomorrow begins early" he said, turning away back towards the stairs. "Goodnight Ed."

"Goodnight Oswald..."

It was like shattered glass sliding through his chest, all the way inside, and coming out on his back, leaving holes of emptiness inside.

And he couldn't fill them in with anything.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my friend @kourank-nerdyrobots on Tumblr because she sent me a message yesterday saying 'I want you to write more!" and thus I did. I hope you guys enjoyed it.


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